Happy birthday

Dear Dad,

Just wanted to wish you happy birthday today – you would have turned 65, a good age to retire, though you’re no longer around for that. I know one of the things that gave you greatest pleasure in your final years was getting birthday cards or father’s day cards in which us boys could express our gratitude to you for being such a wonderful father. I’m glad we did, because though you are no longer with us here on earth, we are not like those who live with the regrets of never saying how much they loved and appreciated each other. I thank God we took advantage of our times together to tell you how much we felt honoured to have you as our dad.

Of course you wouldn’t have wanted a fuss for your birthday, and Mum would know better than to try and buy you a present that you didn’t need. I’m sure a box of chocolates would have sufficed. And no-one else outside the family would have known it was your birthday – you were always a bit sensitive about people knowing your age. A weak spot perhaps – but now I’m a father five years after you started with me, I may feel the same when I get into my 60s but feel just like I did in my 30s.

Of course if you had lasted till the end of the year, you would have seen one of the best presents imaginable – a little girl dressed in pink with rosy red cheeks and a full head of dark hair. Your first grandchild. Of course, thanks to her mum, her hair was always going to be black, but it’s so fine, that you’re really the closest match in the family. So in the cycle of life and genes something of you lives on in a girl that will never see you on this earth, but who as she grows older we’ll tell her all we can about the grandfather she never knew. We’ll show her all the photos and videos we have, but it’s more in the tales we tell that hopefully we can really capture your personality. And the values you passed on to us, we will seek to pass on to her. I’ve no doubt we’ll sometimes remark ‘you know, you’re just like your grandfather.’ And that will make us immensely happy and sad at the same time.

Love,

J

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