Exactly two weeks after leaving Dubai, how does it seem looking back? For a start there’s the rather odd sensation that I don’t really miss it, and it wasn’t really that hard to leave the city. I had amazing friends, a beautiful apartment, and an easy life, but I think there was something about me that never attached itself to the place. It quickly felt small, familiar, and a place for a limited range of experiences. I can’t say I plunged into it, but if I’d stayed on a few more years I’m not sure what more I would have learned or experienced. Perhaps five years of the same thing and I could have bought a Porsche and had a rippling six pack, but there’s not so much appeal in that. For me, West Africa is exhilarating and exciting in a way that I never found in Dubai.

Part of me thinks that Dubai never fitted into my long-term objectives. There wasn’t a click. Even the experiences I had were always related to West Africa – comparing and contrasting it with the former place. I don’t regret going, and yes I was happy, really happy. I grew personally and professionally, becoming a better writer and editor.

For all the hype and glamour, the best thing about Dubai was the people I got to know there. Wonderful families with caring parents, grandparents, and work colleagues. I saw more role models there that will help guide my thinking about being a father than I’ve met for a long time. People who had an influence on me, and I hope will continue to be part of my life. I found more people ‘like me’ than I have for years.

After graduating from university in 2001 I moved city every year until 2008 (Abidjan). I learned techniques to get settled quickly, get involved, and then pull-out. What you’re left with is a trail of friends around the world. In some ways, you’ve betrayed people by leaving – you were a wandering soul, someone who preferred to move for work than stay for the people. Of course in some places that’s easier than others – among ex-pats on Africa, no-one’s there to stay so people aren’t so hurt when you leave. Things are a little different in a regular UK city.

Sometimes, especially with the deep friendship I experienced in Dubai, it feels like a tearing of the soul. You wonder if it’s worth investing again. I’ve been in Freetown less than two weeks, but in four years I probably won’t be here (or will just be packing my bags). What friends will I be waving goodbye to then?

But I tend to be more of an optimist. Returning to West Africa I realise I have a lot of connections in this region – relationships that I’ve invested in and which are still there. Some friends in Abidjan say it’s like I never left, because of exchanges on social media. We can call and SMS, share life experiences. There’s a magic about now in being able to be in the remotest part of Africa and call anyone you’ve ever known who’s still alive. Whatsapp is incredibly popular here in Sierra Leone, something unthinkable five year ago.

Do the wanderers ever settle? And perhaps more importantly, do our children ever have a concrete concept of home? The virtual world really does bridge geographic divides, and almost every day I chat with my wife, and two step-daughters – each in a different country, and spread over three continents. And then every now and again will come the meet-up – that moment in another foreign city where you embrace and say ‘how amazing to see you?’ And travel becomes less about seeing tourist sites, and more about visiting long-lost companions. I think that’s a rich life.

The first few weeks in a new country are weird; the same experiences in Bangui are being worked out again in Freetown. You have to start life again at zero – no friends, no experience at work, no knowledge of your new organisation, no house, no car, no internet, no phone, no bank account, no local money, at one point no toilet paper… It can be a gruelling experience, and the key thing that keeps you going is the acceptance that in a few months’ all will be well. Each day you lay a few more bricks in your new life, gradually getting that little bit more comfortable.

It’s a process that breaks old routines and habits; something that can be frustrating if you want to be doing a lot more with your life. But at the same time, it’s an opportunity to establish the new habits that can help carry you through. It’s amazing starting a weekend when you have no routines and just the wide open space of two free days. The temptation is to fill your time with work – and that’s not necessarily a bad idea, as you need to get up and running and a little extra investment pays dividends. But at the same time you feel the huge potential. When we’re well established it can be a struggle to find the time for things, but now all your non-work time is empty so you can fill it as you see fit.

Entering my final week in Dubai, it’s a good time to reflect on my experiences here. What I find when I think about the very best times and the things which will bring a warm glow long after I leave is that they never had anything to do with possessions or having significant amounts of money. And yet, on a daily basis in Dubai you’re told just the opposite – lots of money buys the most luxury and the most satisfying experiences. Deep down we kind of know this is a lie, and so advertisers cleverly seek to associate the expensive luxury thing with the feelings of satisfaction that come from things that are normally free. It’s a point I tried to make a few months back here.

Dubai has some very very rich people. My wife has made friends with a few through her English classes – when you scratch the surface there’s a hotch potch of unhappy wives, unsatisfied husbands, split families. Some are happy, some are sad – but whether the homes have ten bedrooms and gold taps or not has little to do with it.

When were the best times? Jogging through the streets for three hours, playing football with friends in the cooler months, eating a simple meal at 4am, watching the sun go down while camping in the mountains, enjoying a cheap curry with my mum and dad in Deira, lying on the grass on a June evening in JLT with my wife and the girls. A marketeer could take any one of those moments and make it into an advert (with more attractive actors) for a watch, a family insurance plan, a deodorant, an item of clothing – and then claim that the joy and satisfaction of that moment was due to the product we owned or were wearing. As if the source of the feelings came from a logo.

And so, at my best, I’m indifferent to the food we’re eating, or the style of music, or whether they’re serving alcohol or not. The key question is – is this a good time spent with good people? I need to push myself to emphasize this more and sometimes I miss golden opportunities. Last night after midnight following a late evening meal, I took a taxi home rather than walking 200m Jules and Jim style along the promenade with two of my best friends here. I usually pride myself in calling these better.

The final thing is that activities – ‘doing stuff’ – is often a key part of good times. There’s only so much eating and talking you can take, and these things rarely get epic. In my new posting, I hope to do more stuff – whether it’s hiking or surfing, or volleyball or photography.

I was in Heathrow airport a few weeks ago waiting for a flight. A strange thought entered my head: why not do some push-ups? You’ll think the idea ridiculous, but it’s an interesting thought experiment. If you’re not into sport, then you could substitute the idea with: ‘why not talk to a random person or complement someone on something they’re wearing?’ Doing a little exercise before going in the plane would do me good – the long-term benefits would be useful. There would be no cost, especially as we all had plenty of time on our hands waiting 30 minutes to board the plane. Sometimes you’ve run out of podcasts and you’re too tired to read. Often we find ourselves in situations where the preferred option (though almost certainly the least beneficial) is to do nothing with a part of our oh so precious lives.

The fair answer I think is that we all carry around unwritten rules in our head about how to behave. It’s like we impose rules on our lives which have the same force as if something was actually illegal. Second to that, we care that people might think we’re doing something ridiculous even though we don’t know anyone around us and no-one knows us, and we’ll never see them ever again.

I’m not quite prepared to do such things, but as a related theme, I do hope to find little 1-2 minute gaps in my day where you can do a few of these good habits. And then of course, if you’re a writer, you can be a little more outrageous and get good material.

My best friend in Dubai said to me yesterday: « I think you’re spending too much money on electronics », later adding something along the lines of, but in most other areas you’re pretty sensible with money.

What to make of this? Firstly, it’s not often that we have people close enough who can make such remarks. How often do we not say such honest things to our friends? It’s more common not have people who know us well enough to be able to make such comments.

The second question, is whether of course the comment is true? It’s certainly worth reflecting on. I have bought a number of gadgets in the past few weeks. Let’s go through the list:

– a digital SLR camera with lens, plus iphone 4

– a Samsung S4 for my daughter

– a Sony camcorder

– and now, an expensive lens for my camera

That seems like a lot. But let me try and justify things. The first items were ordered by a friend in Abidjan who has already paid me for them through my Ivorian account. So, although my credit card took a blow, there’s no money lost and no addition to my stock of possessions. Item two, is a family promise that on graduating from school, you get a smartphone and a laptop. The latter still needs to be bought. Item three was something cheapish, but I think important for filming the start of life for my up-coming baby daughter. For me, such memories are precious, especially as I’ll probably miss out on a fair bit over the coming months because I won’t be with my wife.

The latter is the most expensive item on the list – a top of the range Canon prime lens for my digital SLR. To justify this purchase, I’ll say that camera enthusiasts are generally big spenders and love the latest gismos. For my part, I’ve had three SLRs, all in the Rebel range since 2004. I’ve sold a lot of photo and video work through these cameras and definitely recuperated my investments. I’ve generally not bought lenses, or just cheapish ones. For the last two years, the only lens on my camera has been the $200 40mm pancake lens, which gives decent images and has a very low form factor. I have the cheapest tripod imaginable. But it’s time to take my photos to another level, and I was inspired by this set of photos, many of which were taken with the lens I’ve just bought (24mm, 1.4). I’m well aware of the danger of thinking that gadgets make the photographer, but I really believe this lens will help me capture a different range of images in my new job.

In general, is the charge true? Many people might reply: who cares as long as you can afford it? For me though, I hope it’s a key value in my life to be modest, even austere, and not to waste money in the good times and so get used to a standard of living that I have to make too many sacrifices to maintain throughout my life. That seems like a loss of freedom to me. My happiness and productivity have never been linked to how much money I’ve earned.

So, am I (or have a become) a gadget lover? I used to pride myself for having the cheapest Nokia phone possible while in Abidjan. Have I lost the plot and become corrupted?

Looking around my apartment gives a few different answers. On the positive side first, I have an electric guitar – second hand, cheap and being sold tomorrow for close to what I initially paid for it. I have this work laptop, which is my main computer – nothing fancy, no cost, and going back to my employer in two weeks. I listen to music on an ipod shuffle – cheap and practical. Headphones are cheap.

On neutral ground is a Swatch watch – more expensive than a time piece needs to be, but hardly breaking the bank. There’s a Kindle as well – the cheapest ‘tablet’ you can get, and nothing more than a reader. I don’t think it qualifies as extravagant, even if it is another gadget.

On the negative side, in front of me I have a 42 inch 3D television with blu-ray player and a (basic) cable network package. Seems extravagant, especially as apart from the occasional film, I don’t actually watch television. This was really a concession to my wife – she didn’t actually ask for it, but in my mind, it would be a symbol for her of us being comfortable in Dubai. I guess it does qualify as wasteful, though I hope to get a good price for it when I sell. It was about the only thing I didn’t buy second hand for the flat. I could easily live without a television, but we can’t force our own values and interests on other people including our partners.

Then there’s my phone – I have just one (well, I use my old Nokia when I travel) and it’s a Samsung Galaxy S3 with a cracked screen. Is it cutting edge? No. Is it an expensive, sophisticated phone? Yes. Is is well used? Yes daily, as a reader, social media tool and camera. I could happily keep this phone for many years to come, and I certainly don’t see the need for a bigger screen, better resolution or finer camera. I don’t feel guilty about this luxury. I also don’t have a contract – I just top up when I need to, and I’d guess I’ve spent no more than 300 aed on phone credit this year.

I have a GPS sports watch (a gift from the above mentioned friend), which tracks my running and was an incredible asset during my marathon.

Finally, and most worryingly, there’s an iMac sitting on the table, almost never used. It’s definitely the worst purchase I made in Dubai. In its defence, I think its time has yet to come, and it still retains value. When I leave Dubai, it will be the only computer I have on me, and everyone needs a computer. It is in some ways crucial for my 2015 goals in multimedia work. But I regret not buying the laptop version, and buying something that I haven’t made greater use of.

Is there a conclusion to this? It’s clear I have quite a few electronic gadgets, many of which are rather sophisticated. There’s something that doesn’t quite fit there for someone who claims to value ideas of modesty, austerity and the simple life. There are definite warning flags. Then again, with few exceptions, these gadgets are well-used and bring a lot to my life in terms of achieving goals, productivity and enjoyment. I get the point though, that I need to be careful. As a great man said: « Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions. »

A wider issue, for which I don’t have an answer to, is how to install values in your family. If your daughter feels a state-of-the-art smartphone is a key reward and sign of parental love, what should you do?